Dating Advice About Your Crush And If He Is Actually Good for You
- Kelly Kirstein
- 12 hours ago
- 3 min read
Advice About Your Crush
He’s been on your mind a lot lately.
You get that little rush when he walks into the room. You replay conversations. You imagine what it would be like to hang out together at your favorite spot.
Having a crush can be fun. Dreamy. Exciting.
But before you let your heart run too far ahead, there are a few important questions worth asking.
Here's some advice about your crush to help you decide if it should go further.
Is It Him… or Just the Idea of Him?
This is the first (and most important) question:
Do I actually like him — or do I just like the idea of him?
Sometimes we fall for potential, not reality. A few shared glances, a couple of funny moments, or things we’ve heard about him can turn into a whole storyline in our heads.
But real connection isn’t built on imagination, it’s built on time, character, and consistency.
Does He Care About Jesus?
This part matters more than most of us want to admit.
If your crush has no interest in Jesus or isn’t actively pursuing his faith, it’s a good idea to pause before pursuing anything romantic.
That doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. It just means he lives by a different set of values.
And that difference shows up in relationships.
Think about it:
How you handle conflict
What you believe about sex and boundaries
How you treat each other
What you prioritize with your time
When two people don’t share the same foundation, one usually ends up compromising, and it’s often the girl.
The Lifestyle Question No One Talks About
Wouldn’t it be amazing to:
Go to church together
Worship at Christian concerts
Attend retreats
Pray for each other
Do a Bible study together
Those things aren’t small extras. They shape your relationship.
When faith matters to you, it should matter in who you date.
Let’s Talk Honestly About Sex
Christians see sex differently than the world does, and that’s not a bad thing.
Sex is powerful. Emotional. Spiritual. Bonding.
When a guy doesn’t share your values, pressure often shows up. Sometimes it sounds like:
“If you loved me, you would…”
“We’re probably going to get married anyway.”
“Everyone does this.”
That’s not love that’s manipulation.
It’s usually easier to avoid this situation than to untangle the heartbreak and confusion later.
A Gentle Reality Check
A crush should add joy to your life not anxiety.
If pursuing him would pull you away from Jesus, your values, or your peace, that’s information worth listening to.
God isn’t trying to keep good things from you. He’s trying to protect your heart.
Reflection & Prayer
Take a few quiet minutes with God and honestly talk through these questions. There are no right or wrong answers, just truth and growth.
What do I like most about this guy? Who he actually is, or who I imagine he could be?
How does thinking about this crush affect my peace, confidence, and relationship with God?
Do I feel closer to Jesus or more distracted from Him when I think about pursuing this relationship?
What qualities do I value most in a future relationship, and does this guy reflect those qualities?
Are there any red flags I’ve been ignoring because I don’t want to let go of the crush?
Do I believe I deserve respect, kindness, and consistency or do I feel like I have to earn love?
Holy Spirit, is this someone You’re inviting me to pursue, pause, or release?
Prayer Prompt: God, help me see this situation clearly. Show me truth where I’ve been romanticizing, courage where I’ve been afraid, and peace where I’ve been confused. Guard my heart and lead me in Your way. Amen.