You Are More Than a Pretty Face and So Is He| Christian Dating Advice for Teen Girls

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel pretty. Or to date a guy who is handsome.

You can love a cute outfit. You can do your hair, wear makeup, take pictures with your friends, and feel good when someone tells you that you look beautiful.

Beauty isn't the problem.

The problem comes when beauty becomes the way you measure your worth or someone else's.

When you start believing that being attractive is what makes someone valuable. When getting attention from guys is what makes you feel secure. When you constantly take inventory of people's bodies. When you feel great about yourself when you get compliments and terrible about yourself when you don't.

You were never meant to assign worth based on beauty.

Because you are so much more than a pretty face.

• You are more than your body.

• You are more than whether a guy finds you attractive.

• You are more than likes, compliments, attention, or how good you look in a picture.

And God wants you to discover who you are beyond all of that.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30 NKJV

Beauty Fades. But Faith and Character Last

Let's talk about Proverbs 31:30, related to Christian dating advice for teen girls.

Think about what this verse is teaching us.

Beauty is something people can see on the outside. And while there is nothing wrong with being beautiful, physical beauty is temporary.

Our appearances change as we get older. Sometimes they change because of an accident, illness, or something completely outside our control.

But here's something else to think about.

Beauty gets attention. Faith in Christ and reflecting his character makes an impact.

Being pretty doesn't automatically make someone wise.

It doesn't make them kind.

It doesn't give them integrity.

It doesn't mean they will make good decisions, treat people well, or use their influence to help others.

Those are qualities that have to be developed.

And that's why I think Proverbs 31:30 is so important to understand.

God isn't telling us that beauty is bad. He's teaching us that there is something far more valuable to pursue.

Becoming a person who has connection with Jesus and lives out that connection with trust and respect for Him.

And here's something else to think about. Just as you don't want a guy to judge your value by your appearance, you shouldn't determine his value by his looks either.

A guy might be incredibly handsome, but what kind of person is he?

Does he have integrity?

Is he kind?

Does he respect others?

Is he growing in his relationship with Jesus?

Physical attraction might make you interested in someone, but it takes more than attraction to build a healthy relationship.

Beauty Isn't Bad. It Just Isn't Enough for a Healthy Relationship

Christian Dating Advice for Teen Girls

Let's be real. Physical attraction matters in relationships.

It's normal to notice that someone is cute. And someday, when you're choosing someone to date or marry, you probably should be attracted to him.

But attraction is only the beginning.

Being chosen mainly because of your looks is a pretty shallow foundation for a relationship.

Healthy relationships are built when we intentionally align our hearts, minds, and actions with the way God calls us to love and treat one another.

It's about choosing to build a relationship rooted in mutual respect, trust, kindness, and a shared desire to honor God.

Think about what you actually want from someone.

• You want someone you can talk to.

• Someone you can laugh with.

• Someone you can trust.

• Someone who respects you.

• Someone who cares about what matters to you.

• Someone who encourages you to become the person God created you to be.

• Someone who wants to know your heart, not just your body.

That kind of relationship goes much deeper than attraction.

Don't Let a Guy Reduce You to Your Body

This matters.

If a guy only wants you to come over to his place to 'hang out,' but never makes an effort to take you on a date, spend meaningful time together, or genuinely get to know you, pay attention. Ask yourself what kind of relationship he's actually trying to build

If he constantly talks about your body, pressures you physically, wants sexual pictures, makes sexual comments that make you uncomfortable, or seems more interested in what he can get from you than in actually knowing you, pay attention.

You do not have to accept that kind of attention just because it makes you feel wanted.

Being desired is not the same thing as being valued.

A guy can be attracted to you and still respect you.

In fact, he should.

Healthy attraction doesn't require you to prove anything with your body. A healthy guy will want to know what you think, what makes you laugh, what you care about, what you're working toward, and who you are becoming.

Don't settle for someone who only notices the easiest thing to see about you.

There is so much more to know.

Build Something Deeper

If you're interested in someone, be intentional about actually getting to know each other.

• Build a friendship.

• Talk.

• Have fun together.

• Spend time around other people.

• Find ways to serve God together.

• See how he treats people when there is nothing in it for him.

• Notice how he handles disappointment.

• Pay attention to whether he respects your boundaries.

Watch how he treats his family, friends, teachers, coworkers, or the person behind the counter at a restaurant.

Character shows up in everyday life.

You aren't just looking for someone who thinks you're beautiful.

You're learning to recognize someone who sees your value.

Here's my challenge to you.

The next time you find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about how you look, what a guy thinks about you, or whether someone is attractive enough to date, ask yourself a different question.

Am I focusing on what matters most?

Am I growing in wisdom, faith, and character? Am I learning to recognize those same qualities in the people I choose to spend time with?

You don't have to stop caring about your appearance. Just don't let it become more important than the person you're becoming.

And don't let someone's appearance become more important than who they really are.

Beauty may be noticed. But a life lived with God can make a lasting difference.

Grab Your Journal: What Kind of Woman Are You Becoming?

Take a few minutes to think about these questions.

1. How much time and energy do I spend thinking about my appearance compared to developing my faith, connection to Jesus, and gifts?

2. When I think about becoming a powerful Christian woman, what does that mean to me?

3. What is one area of my life where I need God's wisdom to make better decisions?

4. Who is a woman I admire because of her impact, courage, or faith? What qualities does she have that I want to develop?

5. If people described the impact my life had on them, what would I want them to say?

6. What qualitites am I looking for in a guy?

Little Truth Seed:

You don't have to be the prettiest girl in the room to become a woman of influence.

You need a heart that is willing to follow God, a mind that is learning His wisdom, and the courage to live out what He teaches you.

Beauty may be noticed. But a life lived with God can make a lasting difference.