Before You Lead a Teen Bible Study: 8 Things Every Mentor Should Know
A Quick Reference Guide for Teen Bible Study Mentors
While preparing to lead a teen Bible study that may open the door to deeper conversations, there are a few things you should know before the girls ever sit down at your table.
You don't need to be a counselor. You don't need to have all the answers. But you do need to know your role, recognize when a girl needs additional help and be prepared to respond wisely when difficult conversations come up.
Here are eight things to remember.
1. You are her mentor, not her counselor.
You don't have to diagnose what is happening, provide therapy or know how to fix it.
Your role is to listen, encourage, share biblical truth, pray with her and help her find additional support when she needs it.
Knowing the limits of your role doesn't make you less helpful. It helps you mentor her well.
2. Create a safe place to share, but don't invite every detail into the group.
Bible study should feel like a place where girls can be honest. But not every conversation belongs around the table.
If a girl begins sharing deeply personal details about her family, trauma or circumstances, acknowledge what she is saying without encouraging her to tell the entire story in front of everyone.
Move highly sensitive conversations to an appropriate private setting with another responsible adult when needed.
This protects her dignity, her family's privacy and the emotional well-being of the other girls in the group.
3. Never promise complete confidentiality.
Girls need to know they can trust you, but they also need to understand that there are some things you cannot keep secret.
If her safety or someone else's safety may be at risk, or she discloses something that requires action under your organization's child-safety policies or applicable law, another responsible adult needs to become involved.
Don't promise, "I won't tell anyone."
Instead, help her understand that you will treat what she shares with care and only involve others when necessary to help keep someone safe.
4. Take self-harm and suicidal thoughts seriously.
When immediate help is needed
If a girl tells you she is hurting herself, thinking about suicide, has made a plan or may be in immediate danger, don't try to handle the situation by yourself.
Follow your organization's safety procedures and involve the appropriate parent, guardian, professional or emergency support.
If involving a particular parent or guardian could place her in danger, follow your child-safety and reporting procedures.
When you are unsure whether something is serious, don't minimize it. Get help.
5. Teach girls to ask the right adults for help.
One of the most valuable things you can teach a teenager is how to recognize when she needs help and how to ask for it.
When a girl is struggling with anxiety, depression or another mental or emotional health concern, encourage her to talk with her parent or guardian and, when appropriate, a school counselor, health-care provider or licensed mental health professional.
As a teen Bible study Mentor, it doesn't mean becoming her only source of support.
Help her build a circle of trustworthy adults who can support her in different ways.
6. Don't turn every mental health struggle into a spiritual problem.
Prayer matters. Scripture matters. Spending time with Jesus matters.
But a girl can genuinely love Jesus and still struggle emotionally or mentally. She may need spiritual support, professional counseling, medical care or a combination of these.
Needing additional help is not evidence of weak faith.
You can continue pointing her toward Jesus while also encouraging her to receive the
appropriate care and support she needs.
7. Don't carry responsibility that belongs to someone else.
You can care deeply about a girl without becoming responsible for solving everything happening in her life.
God has placed parents, counselors, doctors, pastors, teachers and other trustworthy adults in different roles for a reason.
Your role matters. But it isn't every role.
Know when it is time to bring someone else into her circle of care.
8. Keep pointing her toward Jesus while helping her take the next right step.
You don't need all the answers.
Listen well. Pray for wisdom. Speak truth. Help her recognize what kind of support she needs.
And remind her that whatever she is walking through, she does not have to walk through it without Jesus.
Before Your First Meeting
Remember this:
Your job isn't to fix her. Your job is to faithfully love her, point her toward Jesus and help her get the right kind of help when she needs it.
When you aren't sure what to do, ask God for wisdom and don't be afraid to involve another trustworthy adult.
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