Teen Dating Advice
Picture this. You are in a relationship with a guy you really care about. In one of your classes a really cute guy asks you to be his partner for a project. He is throwing off signals that he's interested. Not even hesitating, you say yes.
Getting attention from this other guy feels so good, but is it really okay? Are you cheating, if you just flirt with this other guy?
The answer can be complicated.
Start with some reflection
How would you feel if your boyfriend put himself in the same situation with another girl?
What is the worst case scenario that could come out of spending time with this other guy?
How could this affect the relationship with your boyfriend?
Is there anyone else that could be affected?
Signs you are flirting
Flirting is speaking or behaving in a way that suggests interest or to draw attention to yourself. People usually flirt for a variety of reasons from trying to see if they can draw someone's interest to sexual intent.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary flirting is "the action or practice of behaving as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but in a playful way rather than with serious romantic or sexual intentions."
The One Tree Hill tv series reveals classic examples of high schoolers crossing the line by flirting with friend's significant others. If you're into the show, you know that Payton & Brooke ruin their friendship because of crossing the line with each other's boyfriends. It began with flirting, but went way beyond that. If you're not, let's just say these girls hurt each other repeatedly, to the point things explode verbally & physically.
Flirting with other guys does not show respect or honor to your boyfriend or the relationship you are in. There is probably a bigger issue that needs to be uncovered.
Questions to ask yourself:
Why are you searching for attention from guys other than your boyfriend?
What lies or false beliefs are fueling your need for validation?
Do you need to end your relationship? Maybe your boyfriend isn't the guy for you.
When does flirting cross the line into cheating?
According to WebMD, "Cheating, also known as infidelity, is when a person in a monogamous romantic relationship has an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else without their partner’s consent."
When you spend time with the opposite sex, it is important to keep tabs on your heart and mind. Guys that are just friends don't cause your stomach to turn or give you that giddy feeling. If you keep thinking about or initiating conversation with this other guy, there is a high likelihood you are forming an emotional connection with him.
That emotional connection will draw you away or interfere with the connection in your current relationship. Learning to form healthy lasting relationships comes when you have boundaries and avoid situations that put you at risk for being inconsiderate to your man. If you don't want to end up a cheater, don't put yourself in that situation.
Cheating on a boyfriend, even if it is just emotionally, hurts him and causes you to start unhealthy behavior patterns in relationships. Allowing yourself to have flirty interactions or testing the waters with another guy can lead to confusion and a lack of commitment in your relationships.
You may use the excuse that you aren't married. If your guys isn't someone you would consider in the long run, then it probably isn't worth investing your time and emotions into him. Why risk heartbreak with a guy that with who you could never see a future?
The Truth:
Dating is the time to forming healthy mindsets and behavior patterns, so you grow and mature in preparation for healthy marriage. Needing validation from other guys won't stop once you get married, if that is the only way you feel good about yourself. Whatever behaviors you establish before you get married will carry into your marriage someday.
Now is the time to work on being a solid partner.
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