Podcast for Teen Girls
Breaking up can literally break you. The loss and grief from losing someone you love can leave you changed, and not always for the better; that is unless you let Jesus help you through the heart break.
When the relationship ends, you may feel like you never want to open yourself up like that again. Regret or grief can come in waves as you learn to adjust to life without the person with whom you spent so much time building a relationship.
Invite Jesus into your pain
The Truth: We were created to be in relationship with the opposite sex. Genesis 2:18 explains that it is not good for us to be alone. While it may be painful going through a breakup, trust that God will work all of this out for good (Romans 8:28)
Use these tips to help you have a healthy mindset as you get over the break-up.
Give yourself time to heal
Working towards healing comes when you set aside time with Jesus to process through your emotions, like rejection, confusion, betrayal, and anger. Even if you initiated the break-up, it's still normal to feel upset, sad, or even confused. Being in a relationship means you invested yourself to build connection with that person.
Ways to process through your emotions to move forward.
Find a comfortable spot.
Listen to worship music, if that helps you focus.
Begin by thanking and praising God for loving you and helping you through this.
Ask Holy Spirit to help you recognize the good parts of your relationship.
Explain the best parts of your relationship, and why you will miss him.
What are you proud of? Example: You laughed together and had fun together.
What did you learn from the relationship that you can hold onto in the future?
Let Holy Spirit bring to mind the unhealthy parts of your relationship.
Why were the things that came to mind a problem?
What did you learn from it?
Where are can you improve your actions and reactions?
How were certain behaviors harmful to your mental health?
Focus on Mental Restoration.
Who can you trust to share your struggles an to ask for prayer? Ask this person if you can reach out to them for support, when you are experiencing high emotions.
Draw and write about your hopes and dreams for the future.
Write encouraging statements or Bible verses on sticky notes and hang them in places you will see them. Example: "You're going to make it." or "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Don't give up on finding love, but take a break from pursuing relationships
It can be tempting to jump into the next relationship to distract yourself. The problem is you will carry the unresolved hurt into the next relationship. While you may find someone else that you care about, you will be using them to make yourself feel better, which can be a selfish way to start a relationship.
In Philippians 2:4, we are told that we are to look at other people's interests. If you pursue another relationship before your heart is healed, you will be putting your need to be distracted from hurt over protecting the other person's heart. As you can see, this would not be a healthy way to start a new relationship.
While it may feel like you will never find love again. Have faith that God has good plans for you. Remember, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV
Take a break from social media
Any time your emotions are in a spin, it is a good idea to take a social media pause for a few hours or even a few days. Mindless scrolling may pass the time, but you run the risk of seeing something from you ex that will make you upset.
It may be tempting to post about your hurt and sadness to get support from followers, but airing your problems for everyone to talk about isn't helpful. In fact, sometimes it can add to the hurt and drama of the situation.
No matter how tempted you are to creep on your ex's profile, don't do it. Steer clear of anything that will suck you into see what he's doing or analyzing what he's thinking.
Focus on the good things your life
It's easy to let your mind dwell on the negative, when you are hurting. Take a deep breath and choose to follow the advice of Philippians 4:8 to focus on, "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (NIV)
If you are in a bad head space, you may want to write on sticky notes and put them around your bed room. You could speak out loud all the positive things God has done in your life, until you start to feel better. Writing or drawing in a journal can be another great way to shift your perspective onto good things that are happening in your life.
More things you can do when the hurt is too much
talk to a trusted friend
journal & pray
listen to worship music (avoid sad angry music that makes you feel worse)
draw
do something you love
work out
try a new activity
spend time connecting to God through scripture
go to counseling
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