The early years. As a small child, I remember thinking my Pastor was God. It must have been the white hair and glasses that convinced me.
I think I always had a unique connection to God. At a young age I expected to see Him. To hear from Him. Things came out of my mouth that my little mind couldn’t come up with.
As a teen, I went to church, but didn’t spend much time thinking about God after I left.
At around 15, I started having moments where I knew God was there. I felt Him in the room. Going to church made me feel better, when life got hard, which was often.
I didn’t ever feel like I was enough. The pressure I put on myself to meet unattainable standards left me shattered and insecure.
It never occurred to me to ask God what He had planned for me. But I often talked to Him about my heart’s desires.
I am not proud of many of the choices I made during my high school and college years. It wouldn’t do you any good to know my transgressions.
As I headed into my adult life, I began to strive to prove my worth through success. High grades.
Got a teaching job. Got married. Started my masters in administration at 23. Had a child. Finished my masters. Published a book. The list of accomplishments seemed impressive. But then, why wasn’t I happy? Why didn’t I like who I was?
I will share more in my next post about my 20’s.
Do you believe God is real? That He will interact with you?
How do you expect to see Him work in your life?
Describe your dreams and plans for the future. How do you think God should be included in those?